August Ramblings from The Fractured Light

Over the past few weeks, I've been settling into my new apartment and trying to keep up with the blog. It's grown from getting no views to averaging 50+ views per day, so it's a slow climb. Overall, I'm just happy that I'm still writing and putting up blog posts instead of deciding to nuke the whole website in proper bpd fashion.

In my personal world

Since I moved, I need to find a new therapist and someone to write my medication prescriptions. This is what's giving me so much anxiety... I remember what it felt like to be tossed from therapist to therapist, while looking for treatment. It was one referral after the next. I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready to put myself in that position again, but I will definitely be looking for a meds person ASAP. 

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With the stresses of this move, it began to feel like my medication isn't working. My last therapist reminded me that extra stress doesn't mean my meds have stopped working. It simply means I'm dealing with more than usual. This is my body's way of telling me I need some self care.

I hear that. I've become so stressed out that I'm wrongly taking it out on my partner. :/

In my professional life

I haven't spoken much on what I do for a living. I'm currently a freelance virtual assistant over at a website called Upwork. This is where I find remote jobs so I can work over the internet. I've been doing this for the past 5 years and it's been a sustainable way to create income.

I did try to apply for disability, with the recommendation of my therapist, but it was denied. Deep down, I think I'm too prideful to accept disability so I'm not going to try again.

Eventually, I will write a post on how to work from home, for those of you that want to also try remote work.

The Blog

Now that there's been some traction on the blog, I definitely want to continue writing. Here are my stats from the past few months:

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I'm going to be completely honest. I came into blogging about borderline personality disorder as a way to build a small community and so I could give a voice to borderlines who aren't able to speak the way they feel. Seeing the sudden spike in viewers, both make me feel great and terrified at the same time. I feel like I'm one panic attack away from deleting this whole site, but I'm trying to keep trucking on.

You might have noticed that there's a cute little kindleunlimited ad on the sidebar of my blog. I'm trying to keep the advertisements on this site as low as possible, but there are speckles of Amazon ads here and there. The small kick-backs have helped me keep this blog going month after month. It has been suggested to me I should put up a "donation" link, which I might do later on.

Otherwise, I'm going to keep up with the weekly blog posts. If you subscribe to this blog, I can keep you updated and send you your free crisis kit.

Interesting things from the internet

This song by Kasey Chambers is the song I used to cry to as a teenager, living with a fresh BPD diagnosis.

I was sent this awesome Google Drive, filled with DBT resources.

Speaking of DBT, I am halfway through reading this Mindfulness for BPD book.

Struggling with making friends? Here's Bakadesuyo's guide to get people to like you, from the perspective of an FBI behavior expert!

I make an extra $100/month just for pinning things on Pinterest. This course taught me how.

And that's all from this month's ramble. Until next time. <3

-F