Living with borderline personality disorder makes me an asshole sometimes… here’s how that works out.
I know borderline personality disorder feels like a life sentence; a punishment. Things were bad before, but now you’ve learned that you have something within you that damns you into a life of turmoil. It’s knowing that your feelings betray you and your world is vastly different from those around you. You’re lost, confused, and terrified.
Googling borderline personality disorder doesn’t help. You’re met with people who believe that those like you are monsters. That you’re incapable of caring for anyone but yourself. Having this disorder comes with labels such as crazy, psycho, selfish, bitch, and overdramatic….
In the beginning, it feels really nice. You know, the type of guy that never received much attention from other girls, so he throws himself all over you, in an effort to keep you. He knows about your past- all the men that have hurt you before and the way the world has been brutal to you. He offers everything- a trusted shoulder to cry on, safety, and someone who will never abandon you.
Because that's where it all began- with the abandonment.